Wednesday, October 13, 2010

My Chemical Romance aka The McDonalds Experiment

Today the results of a scientific experiment were revealed. According to the experiment’s “artist”, a burger from McDonalds lasted six months on a shelf with no signs of decay

Well, I call shenanigans on that…

Trust me, as someone who has thrown out plenty of fast-food leftovers, I know it can’t last that long. A McBurger left in the fridge for two weeks WILL go rancid. Never fun having to clean that up…

So now, regardless of whether this is true or false, people are all up in arms about how bad preservatives are for you… which is funny because…

Years ago, if you said you could make a hamburger last for six months, you woulda won the Nobel Prize or something for solving issues relating to hunger and food shortages. Now, people are freaked out by these preservatives.

This is the weird trend in food these days. People panic about making sure their food is all-natural and organic… and are often willing to pay a high premium for it. You know what though? It’s basically the same exact thing. There are tradeoffs, people!

Yes, non-organic food is treated with chemicals for optimal growth. Usually, these are no worse for you than the detergent residue left over when you use your dishwasher. They keep plants clean and bug free. You know what you get when you don’t use these pesticides? You get BUG SHIT on your fruits and veggies. Sometimes even inside your fruits and veggies. Yes, bugs burrow inside and poop all over your food. Not to mention bacteria and mold that could kill you. Now which option sounds worse…

Now as long as these substances aren’t toxic (All chemicals and supplements should be thoroughly tested to make sure they are completely harmless to humans, including testing for long-term effects) then why are we complaining? They say preservatives are the reason we as a species are living longer. Now sometimes that’s a joke about the preservatives we eat preserving US, but think about it:

If food rots quickly, people may unknowingly eat spoiled food. Which can get them sick... or worse. If you’ve ever had food poisoning, you know what I mean.

Also, these chemicals help bring about an abundance of some of the most nutritious foods out there. Less food lost through bugs and blight mean more the farmers can sell. Which makes it cheaper for everybody. In a world where they say that nutritious food is more expensive than crap food, a lower price will incentivize people to eat healthier.

Not to mention what these processes can do in agrarian societies and areas dealing with hunger. Bigger portions may be the difference in whether your entire family eats that night.

I remember an old Simpsons episode where Lisa dreams of the scientific praise she will get for creating a giant tomato that could feed an entire impoverished family by using growth hormones. That was like 15 years ago. These days, people like Lisa are the ones who complain about how bad hormones are for us.

So don’t fret over the whole organic debate. And for the love of god, don’t leave a McBurger out for six months…


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