ACA? Not OK!

So there’s no doubt that we need some sort of healthcare reform in this country.  When prices are so high that ten minutes with a doctor costs more than double what the average person makes in a day, we have a major problem.  Our politicians are scrambling to figure this issue out, but as usual, politics get in the way of a real solution.  So they ‘compromise’ to make a plan they think their opponents will agree with, and you know what, the American people suffer as a consequence.

Right now, the ‘solution’ we have to the healthcare problem is this Affordable Care Act.  Which basically says that all Americans are legally required to have their own insurance, or they are punished.  So we’re being forced to buy into the system that already doesn’t work.  Add in the fact that businesses are responsible for subsidizing this, and you can see how this act is going to collapse our economy even further.  We need to change the system, to repair it, not put more money behind it. 

Insurance companies have been ripping off the American people for decades.  Whether they deny a claim due to pre-existing conditions or just trying to say you’re not covered for a random ailment.  Or just that they won’t cover you for the one pill that will actually best help your condition.  So why are we creating a system that will reward these companies with more clients?  In a supply and demand economy, we can seek alternatives to this corruption. But with this bill, we are forced to go with the companies that have screwed us in the past. 

So the bill does say that insurance companies will be forbidden from denying you because of pre-existing conditions.  But what if you’re not covered for a certain ailment?  The bill doesn’t make insurance companies cover every last thing.  We’re not doctors, we can’t always tell what we need and what we don’t need.   Insurance companies, like they have, are still going to try to find loopholes and exceptions in order to deny your claim.

What about deductibles?  The act doesn’t make any provisions about these.  Just because you have insurance doesn’t mean it kicks in right away.  You first have to pay off the deductible amount.  Some of these insurance plans have deductibles in the tens-of-thousands range.  Who says the insurance holder is going to be able to pay for that?  Even if it’s a few hundred dollars, there’s no guarantee one can afford the deductible.  And what about the otherwise healthy person who gets sick once?  Are they going to go to the doctor, knowing they have to still pay the full bill because they haven’t covered their deductible yet?  At this point, you’re better off holding onto the cash you’d spend on insurance to go to the doctor once or twice a year.

Our economy works on supply and demand.  Which, in essence, says that if prices are too high, people will not buy the products, and if the company wants to stay in business they will need to lower prices. Insurance is like an endless bank account that circumvents this rule.  Instead of pricing medical services or medicine at a price point people can afford, doctors/pharma can lift the price to whatever they feel like.  After all, consumers aren’t paying for it.  A billion dollar company is.  So why not price it to what the bottomless piggybank can cover?

And who’s to say what is affordable?  The bill says healthcare will be subsidized for those who make under $44k.  What about those who make just over that?  Should people cap their own salaries to make sure they don’t go over this amount?  This kind of goes against our economic system of opportunity and capitalism…

For those who won’t be covered, how can everyone afford this additional amount?  Average health insurance is over $400 a month for an individual, and it keeps going up.  It’s even more in cities that already have overwhelming rent costs.  Kinda sucks for those who live in San Francisco or New York, or one of the other many overpriced cities in the US.

So maybe you’ve cut back all your expenses so you can actually pay insurance and not have to move.  How does this help our economy?  Instead of spending on normal purchases, now this money gets funneled into the insurance industry.  Want to watch your city die?  Take away people’s ability to spend at local establishments.  Shouldn’t we be in charge of where our money goes?

This bill will kill entrepreneurship in this country.  Entrepreneurs need months, if not years, to put together their businesses.  How can they afford coverage for themselves during this time?  Force them into government assistance?  And to start the business, they now need to raise even more capital to subsidize their employees’ coverage.  Not easy, especially for those trying to start a business from their personal savings.  What’s an entrepreneur to do?  Either understaff or go bankrupt.  Or just say screw it since the costs won’t be worth the risk.  

My name is ACA.  I have come for you, entrepreneurs...

Granted, if the business is very small, they get around the mandate.  But then they’ll have to face the threat of turnover.  Why would someone stay with this company (or get a job there in the first place) if they first have to get their own insurance?  This bill is going to make the hiring process very difficult for entrepreneurs…  the job creators… the people our government is trying to push right now. 

You might be thinking, well, I have a job with a big company and I’ll be covered.  Well, I hope that stays true.  Because you better believe there will be massive layoffs once this bill is passed.  Trust me, your employer wants to keep costs as low as possible.  Now that salary expenses have risen, they’re going to be stingy with hiring.  And very likely, they’re going to look to cut workers to make up for this new expense.  Or cut you down to part time.  I hope your job is one they decide to keep.

(Let's also not forget that companies will begin raising their prices to cover new healthcare costs...)

The ACA will end up destroying our economy.  Instead on trying to work on a system, why don’t we focus on cutting costs in healthcare?  This way, a person can afford to go to a doctor, or get surgery, without spending their life savings.  This needs to be where we start if we truly want to reform our healthcare system.  

Diary of the Unemployed: Common Courtesy

I know I’ve written in the past about common courtesy in the world of business communications, but it seems like things are just getting worse.  Especially when it comes to applying for jobs.  Are things so bad in our economy that all the power is with the HR people and they can dick around whoever they want?  Apparently so.

Let’s get this straight.  I put in the time and effort to look up your company.  Customize my resume.  Write a specific cover letter that addresses every need you have in the job description.  At least an hour of work on my part, often more.  All this for the 1% chance that you actually get back to me.  And it seems like it’s only about one in every hundred applications that does get back to me, whether it be yes or no.  Thank you to those companies, you’re obviously run better than those who can’t take five seconds to say “Sorry you’re not what we’re looking for” just so I’m not hanging on to that bit of faith that I might actually be your wage slave one day.  Hell, send me an automessage.  Just something to justify the careful work I put into honoring your company with my application.

What makes it worse is when these companies blow you off for an interview.  Especially without notice.  What, just because I’m unemployed means my time is worthless?  What the hell!?!  These days it’s imperative to spend hours of preparation for these interviews so you seem competent and actually know what the inner workings of the company are like.  Otherwise you’re going to be unprepared and seem like an idiot, especially when your competition has done this research.   What about the time it takes me to put on my suit and drive to your place, let alone the price of gas and dry cleaning these days?  It seems like this doesn’t concern the HR goons from these businesses.  They already have jobs, so why even give you a call to reschedule?

It would be one thing if an emergency came up, or they gave you advanced notice.  But that’s too much work for them.  Chances are they will not even call you until after the appointment, and you most likely have to call them first to find out what the fuck is going on. 

If they do reschedule, that’s still a disadvantage to me.  The research and preparation I have done is no longer fresh in my head.  Even if I re-study everything I have done, the momentum and energy I had is gone.  Now I have to move things aside, often at times inconvenient to me, just to fit them in for a second block of time.  On their end they could care less.

Don’t forget the emotional toll this has on the applicant.  I’m obviously not worth your time, even five seconds of it for a heads up that things need to be moved.  So that’s the mindset I am now going into the interview with…  I am not worth your time and you don’t care about me.  You’re basically giving me a pity interview at this point.  How do I take this seriously?  Why should I care about the company if this is how you treat people?

And you know what the worst part is?  I have to pretend like it didn’t happen.  I have to just be happy that I have the interview.  I have to be all nice and friendly about it and have the attitude that ‘oh, accidents happen, it’s not a big deal’.  I don’t even get so much as a ‘sorry’ when this happens, but they expect me to laugh it off and kiss their ass for the opportunity to interview with them.  I want to tell them that I demand an apology and a thank-you for my patience, but I’m pretty sure that will end the interview right there. 

And I also have to pretend that it doesn’t bother me when you can’t accommodate me to reschedule.  I actually had someone tell me “I can’t do it then, that’s my lunch time”.  Your lunch time?  You blew me off, made me waste an entire day of my life expecting this interview, and you can’t eat your fucking lunch an hour later?

Oh, and that in that case it was the second time they blew me off.  The first time the interviewer was in a meeting, and this time they simply put the wrong day on the calendar.  How the fuck do these HR idiots have jobs when they can’t even schedule people properly, and I can’t find shit for work?  FML, or better yet, fuck them…

So now I have an appointment with them at a future date.  Who knows if they’re going to actually go through with it this time…  I’m sick and tired of the lack of respect these companies show their applicants.  It’s rubbing it into our faces that companies have all the power in this economy and we mean nothing to them.  I’m thinking about using this interview to curse them out and show them just how upset we are when we get fucked over like this.  I mean, they already blew me off twice, I have to assume that I’m not being seriously considered for the job anyway…

jbx

Republicans, Wise Up!

Are Republicans just fucking crazy? It’s almost like they go out of their way to not make sense. Right now the hot debate is on whether birth control need be covered by health insurance. Now, I could see if their point was something like “as little should be covered as possible”… that would be a logical point that aligns with Republican philosophies. But that’s not the argument in this case. Instead, they’ve gone right to the big guns… that’s right… religion.

According to the current GOP candidates, this whole thing is about religious oppression. That’s right, OPPRESSION. They’re saying it almost as if the point of the mandate is to go out of our way to overthrow a religion. It’s the exact opposite. Denying people this service would be religious oppression. It’s like saying “my religion doesn’t allow this, so you can’t do it either”.

And just because your insurance covers birth control, doesn’t mean you have to take it. It’s as simple as not asking for it when you go to the doctor. Wow, that seems really hard. This law isn’t going to force pills down your throat, it just makes it easier for those who want it to get it.

Do you support coverage for AIDS? Herpes? Syphillis? Other STDs? You do? Good for you. Because that means you've been supporting FORNICATORS!!!  Last I checked that was against your religion too.  And those medications make your insurance costs skyrocket.  So why is it such a big deal to include one more inexpensive pill? Is being a hypocrite part of your religion too?

It’s funny, the same people who denounce insurance companies for offering birth control are the same people who demand that Viagra is covered. Well, I just hope every time you have old man sex it is for procreation. Sinner…

So you know what? Make it optional for insurance to cover birth control. After all, there won’t be any consequences. Like abortions. Yes, I’m sure there will be fewer abortions if women can’t just take a pill or a shot to prevent their pregnancy. Come on Republicans, pick one, birth control or abortion. You can’t get rid of them both.

Republicans, it’s time you start making sense. Really, a lot of people have lost respect for your party because of bullshit like this. Stop making things a religious agenda. We have religious freedom here in America, which means yours doesn’t get to make the rules. No religion does. So stop trying to force everyone else to live by it. If you spent more time coming up with logical explanations than faith-based proclamations, people might begin taking your politics seriously again…

jbx

I had a feeling they were alums...

Discrimi-Nation?

Well, I have to say, after reporting on the failures of higher education, my Alma (beta?) Mater is making me proud.  The hot topic this week is this whole discrimination debate at Vanderbilt.  To make the story short, the school put in writing the rule that any school-funded club must be open to anyone within the student body, and that leadership positions are open to all.  This includes religious and cultural clubs.  

Yes, Vanderbilt actually had to make this a rule.  You’d think this would be something that would be understood, especially at one of the most prestigious colleges in the nation.  But now, these clubs are in an uproar, calling it religious discrimination.

Discrimination?!?  How?  The school is saying that their clubs are open to all.  So if anything, this prevents discrimination.  Religious clubs are saying it interferes with their ability to practice their religion.  So how does this interfere?  If someone from outside your religion wants to know more about your culture, why exclude them?  Isn’t teaching others about your religion considered a good thing?  In fact, don’t many religions require it?  Preach the Gospel! Convert the heathens!  Now they argue that they should exclude people from discovering their religion and improving themselves through it… I mean, haven’t some religions gone so far as declaring war in order to convert people? 

One of my favorite things about Vanderbilt is the diverse mix of cultures of the student body.  We had students and faculty from all inhabited continents, with a number of clubs catering to each.  Any time there was a meeting, it was open to anyone and everyone interested in learning or participating.  White students showed up to lectures held by the Black Students Association.  Christians attended seminars comparing modern ethics to Jewish Talmudic law, just for the intrigue of history.  In fact, we had clubs for the specific purpose of matching us up with other students to learn about each others’ culture.  We stressed diversity in our classes and made sure our groups were ethnically diverse whenever possible.  The faculty encouraged us to travel abroad and attend career fairs aimed towards minorities.  Maybe things are different in the graduate program, but I never felt that there was an air of discrimination when it came to activities.   

Discrimination does not represent Vanderbilt, and these religious clubs crying ‘religious oppression’ should be ashamed of themselves.  Are they afraid that they’re going to be taken over?  They can kick people out if they are being disruptive.  Are they worried that ‘non-believers’ are going to work their way into their leadership?  No, because they still need to be voted in by the members.  If they’re worried about ceremonies being led by an outsider, the individuals need not vote them in.  Why automatically disqualify someone who is offering to help promote your beliefs?  Hopefully the members will pick the most qualified person, not base things on the line of creed or color.

I have heard the theory that these clubs are just trying to exclude gay students, and under this rule they will not be able to.  Fuck these hatemongers if they are.  Regardless of whether this is their main agenda, if this rule is something that bothers the groups that much, they are more than welcome to leave the school.  And if you say that’s being discriminatory, it’s not, because we’re holding these clubs to the same ideals and regulations of the dozens of other clubs, including the 32 of 36 cultural-based clubs not protesting this matter.  We want to be associated with a culture of tolerance, not hatred. 

If these clubs want to be able to ban certain students, they should think about this…  How would they feel if, perhaps, the school newspaper and radio station clubs started excluding Republicans?  Yeah, don’t think they’d like that very much.  So why is it ok for them to discriminate?  

Are we forgetting that this is a private school, and all clubs are subject to the rules of the school?  The school is enforcing the rules of fairness and equality.  They are giving you the right to organize to practice your religion – as a school approved entity.  One that receives funding or uses facilities paid for by all students.  Isn’t that a good thing?  You just have to accept all interested students and let them run for position if they feel so inclined.  Vanderbilt doesn’t have to support any cultural clubs.  So take their generous offer and run with it.  Spread the words of your culture and let everybody grow from them.  Love thy neighbor.  And do onto others as you’d have done to you.

jbx

Why drug testing is bad, mmkay...

So I was going through my backlogs and found this article from my previous site "DoTheyDrugTest.net". The site has since gone down, but I wanted to salvage this passage because it is a very important issue, especially for those of us looking for jobs. Soon enough, local governments are going to try to drug test even those collecting welfare, a measure which would seem fair, if it wasn't for testing being unethical in the first place. This was written to appeal to both employers and employees, so don't mind the conservative tone. The following is my report:

Imagine this... you're a college senior who spent the last 16 years of life studying hard, getting good grades, and trying to be successful in your upcoming career. Like the vast majority of college students, you make time to enjoy the social aspects of college. You have the qualifications to get a job at your #1 company and get through several rounds of interviews. But in the end, you get rejected... Why? Because at a party a few weeks before, you smoked a joint with some friends.

This happens every day in our business world where companies have the right to test employees for drug use whenever they want.Often it is a condition of employment, but at times could be random, for no reason, and at a moment's notice.

We are not and in no way condoning on the job drug use. Your company is paying you for your time, and deserves your full unadulterated attention. But when the work day is done, your time should be yours and yours alone... Your company does not own you and should not be making decisions for you.

This creates an ethical grey area in workplace relations. The purpose of the site is to allow companies and employees alike the ability to announce whether an applicant should expect to be tested. We serve both as a caution to employees and as a way for companies to prevent unwanted applications from users who do not fit their culture. Until legislation prevents unwarranted testing, the best people can do is stay informed.

 

Some of the reasons why employment drug testing is unethical, and why this site exists:

• Just as your company has the legal right to drug test you, you have a right to know if they are going to invade your privacy. The 4^th Amendment of the Constitution protects against random and unprovoked search and seizure. However, this right does not extend into the workplace.
  
  
• Drug tests do not test for intoxication, rather past usage at an arbitrary time.  
  
  
• Should recreational users be kept out of jobs, only to have more time, unproductive time, on their hands to do more drugs?  
  
  
• These rules were set in place during an era of propaganda, before we had enough true information make judgments about how drugs affect one's health behavior when not under the influence.  
  
  
• Making responsible users second-class citizens. While companies push for open, diverse cultures, they isolate a major one. One that could potentially open additional markets. Usage is tolerated and accepted in some areas despite its illegality.  
  
  
• Laws are changing to make certain drugs legal. Drug tests, especially random tests, prevent prominent people from speaking up for reformation, thus keeping them taboo and illegal.
  
  
• Some drugs tested for are legal in certain areas. A vacation in Amsterdam where one does as the locals do could potentially cost you your job.
  
  
• These tests do not discriminate between recreational users and medicinal users. And yes, people CAN be denied hire, or even fired for taking medication under doctor's orders.
  
  
• Your medical history is not the business of your company. We have strict HIPPA laws that prevent any communication about one's medical history outside of the doctor-patient bond. Employment drug screening defies this law.  
  
  
• Drug tests can reveal other medical conditions (i.e. pregnancy) and legal medications for common disorders (i.e. depression), things that could secretly prevent an otherwise perfect candidate from getting hired
  
  
• Random tests can be a mask for terminating someone for alternate reasons. Don't like a co-worker (for example, say, the black one) who you know partakes once in a while outside of work? Make an accusation and watch them get fired for drugs instead!
  
  
• Marijuana, the most commonly used and least dangerous of intoxicants legal or illegal stays in your system the longest. Harsher drugs are out of one's system within 2-3 days. So these tests typically just uncover pot users, which should rationally be of no concern to a company. Alcohol is significantly worse for one's health than most drugs, and can cause obvious after effects at work even 24 hours after consumption. Yet almost no companies have a policy saying an employee can't drink on their free time.
  
  
• False positives can ruin a person. Food one eats, medicine one takes, and elemental exposure can all cause a clean sample to test positive.
  
  
• Signs of intoxication are obvious and effect performance. If one is not performing to standards, they shouldn't keep their job. But if performance is not affected, why test?

 

This stated, here are the benefits this site can bring to your business:

• Let people know you test, as a warning. Users will not apply for your jobs, saving the time and expense of interviewing and testing someone who will just fail your drug test
• It will encourage people who know they want to work for you to NOT partake
• If you don't test, be proud of it. Announce that you respect your employee's right to privacy when they are on their own time. You are opening yourself up to many qualified candidates another company casts aside for a non-work-related reason.
• Let your company give a reason for their testing. It wouldn't be fair to list reasons why drug testing is bad without giving the company a reason to voice their side. While we feel most testing is unwarranted, there may be instances where there are legitimate reasons why a company tests employees. Now you can explain why.

 

Once again, we do not condone the illegal use of drugs while on the job, but if you choose to partake, you have a right to stay safe. Enjoy the site, and best of luck on your job hunt!

jbx

Diary of the Unemployed: Part 2

You know when they say if you’re angry about something you should write a letter and never send it? This is one of those times. I would love to be able to go back to school, go to the administrators, and ask them one question… “Why did you set me up to fail?” Or maybe one more… “Why the fuck did you accept me in the first place?”… but common sense has gotten the better of me.

In his recent State of the Union Address, Obama talked about how further education is the keystone to a brighter future, and how important additional schooling is these days. I wish I could agree, because this hasn’t been the case with me. What little feedback I’ve heard from applications and interviews, when I don’t hear “completely not qualified” is “way too overqualified”. There has been no middle ground.

Alas, it would actually seem as if my additional grad schooling is making it harder for me to get a job in this economy. After working for eight years and holding a graduate degree, I have had no luck finding anything, even entry level jobs. Some companies have said “we will not even make you an offer because your experience warrants a higher salary than we can offer”. They could care less when I say I’d be willing to negotiate and accept a low salary. In this economy, companies are going for less educated workers that they can train, instead of experienced and educated workers that are perfect for the job.

The other feedback I get, when I’m not overqualified, is that I’m extremely underqualified. Not that I don’t have the necessary skills or abilities, but often that I lack corporate experience on my resume. As an entrepreneur, I worked years with myself as a manager. But for some reason, this seems to signal to companies that I would refuse to work in a group or under someone else. Yes, this is the feedback I get.

I don’t know how these trained and educated HR “experts” don’t realize that I always ALWAYS had to answer to someone. Yes, maybe I didn’t have a “boss”, but I always had clients. And things had to be done their way or I’d be “fired”. There was no unwillingness or inability on my part to work the standard corporate life, I just found greater success on the freelance, consultant basis. After trying it for a few years, it turned out to not be the lifestyle I wanted, so I put myself in a position to learn about corporate life to make myself more valuable to a company I could achieve more with.

So why is it I can’t find a job? I was one of the top students in both my undergrad and graduate classes (3.5 and 3.7 GPAs respectively). I ran a successful small business that allowed me to live a comfortable lifestyle in New York City. I applied for just about any internship or job I was qualified for, even those that were geographically undesirable. I attended info sessions for just about any company hiring within my skill set. I TAed for professors and held leadership positions in student clubs. I made lots of friends and connections with alumni. Do these sound like traits of someone who has been unemployed for a year and a half? And that doesn’t even count the months of school in which I was applying for jobs.

For one, it should have been a major warning sign that after my first year of grad school that I couldn’t find an internship. I had a lot of interviews but no success. Other students were getting these positions, and were being compensated well. I even started applying to unpaid internships, and got rejected from those. Something should have set off a flag when companies aren’t letting me even volunteer my time to help them. But the school just assured me that the economy was bad and things would turn around the next year.

Which it didn’t. And after a while, reassuring does nothing but make us angrier. A year passed and I was still looking for work. But this time it wasn’t like I had another year of school to look forward to. Nope, I was out on my own. No student loans to pay the rent. In fact, I had to start paying them back, on top of all my expenses. At least I had just enough saved up to support myself, but it really sucks just scraping by when most of your friends have signed six figure contracts. At this point, I’m done with all the self doubt and depression that comes with unemployment. I’ve done everything in my power to find a job. So that leaves me to question, why did my school let me get into this position??? I don’t like to point fingers, but at some point, I feel they need to take their share of the blame. No one told me, or gave me any such indication, that I might not have the right experience for an MBA job. If not having corporate experience is such a big deal to employers, why wasn’t it such a big deal for the school? Is it because I paid them a fuckton to take classes there? Were they struggling to fill seats? One student unemployed isn’t going to kill their rankings, so why not just let an unqualified applicant in? I’m sick of being the victim here, and I feel the school owes me an apology. A very expensive apology. I’m starting to wish they never accepted me in the first place.

jbx

Diary of The Unemployed

You know how a lot of people complain that their job interferes with their life? Some could only be so lucky. It seems today, with skyrocketing unemployment and no recovery in sight, that the opposite is worse. That’s right, not having a job is getting in the way of my life.

To some, not having a job and therefore having the free time to do whatever you want seems like the perfect life. How awesome is it to sit around the house playing Xbox, drinking beer for breakfast, napping whenever you feel. Pretty cool, right?

Well not for me…

Wouldn't have been as fun it it was his daily routine...

It’s hard to enjoy free time when all you have is free time. Weekends and holidays mean nothing when you do nothing the other five days of the week. Thing is, I would love to be at a stage of my life where I can comfortably sit down for hours at a time and play video games, knowing all’s right with the world. But not having a job is like a dark cloud looming over me at all times.

Case in point, I spent the last week helping some friends paint their house. Activity and socializing… all good, right? But the whole time, especially during the downtime, I’m just worried that I should be home, lurking around the job boards and stalking strangers on LinkedIn. So the whole time, I’m jumpy, anxious, and actually wanted to break off my social contacts to sit in my tiny bedroom in front of my computer for the rest of the night. Last I checked, the DSM-IV calls that depression…

Thing is, I want to have an active lifestyle. Opportunities can happen anywhere at any moment, but I really doubt they’re going to happen if I’m trapped in my apartment. I’m checking right now… no girlfriend sitting on the couch, no employer in my kitchen, no investors in my toilet… you get the picture.

I want to see the world and enjoy it. Forget the world, I want to get around town and enjoy that. I want to stay out, go to local events and restaurants and clubs and stuff. I want to be that guy who buys his friends a round without even thinking. I want to meet new, interesting people. I want to accomplish things. And I’d like to be this productive member of society without freaking out about how I’m going to pay rent next month.

Worse than the money is that my skills are going to waste. I worked my ass off through my childhood to get into both a top undergraduate and masters program. I’m not saying I’m the one who was going to cure cancer, but I have the brains and the ambition to launch the next cool technological innovation. So sitting around being non-productive is just killing me. When I look back at my life, I’m going to want to see that I did something with it. And right now, that’s just not happening.

Being unemployed actually has a compounding effect on staying unemployed. This is a fact. Jobs are flat out telling people that they will not be hired if they’ve been out of work for X months. So opportunities are lost right there. In the digital age, without access to the resources of company, it’s easy to fall behind in this progressive and competitive environment. Even if you find something to do by yourself, without the accountability of a job you’re less likely (or able) to push your limits. So how do you recover?

For one, I’ve been taking online classes in some current technologies, like Python scripting and Data Mining. Hopefully this can launder my timeline a bit and make it look like I’m not some lazy unemployed bum. The problem though, topics like these take a long time and a lot of commitment to master. I have no idea what is actually going to help me most in my career, so where do I focus? And how can I dedicate this time (programming languages can take months to learn) when I have the dark cloud of joblessness raining over me?

Hard to look ahead when futility is waiting over the horizon… But for now, it’s either apply to jobs while on self-imposed house arrest, or live a liberated life and chance ending up living in a cardboard box.

To be continued…
jbx

Idea for Google+

Hello Freedom Fans!

So a few weeks ago I reported on the difficulties a blogger such as myself has trying to express his opinions openly when job screeners may be lurking about. Or better yet, asking to see your Social Media profiles. And it is my sad duty to report that, despite getting a team of experts, nothing has been done to fix the problem that hiring decisions can be (and likely will be) made on what I have tweeted. Eh, with the economy tanking, England rioting, Verizon striking, GOPers ganging up in Iowa, and San Francisco trying to become a scene from "V for Vendetta", there have been crazier things to worry about.

Guy Fawkes wants to follow you. Accept? [Y/N]:

But I think I've come up with a solution. And Google, heads up, this one is for you. Consider it a freebie.

I like what Google+ has done with its security settings, in that they made it extremely easy for you to monitor exactly who sees your posts. So say something 'risky' and you are able to let only your trusted friends see it. Your boss can still follow you, but its easy to keep him from seeing that rant about how much you hate your job. So it is possible to have both an open and a private life on Big G.

However, if there's one thing missing from their security, it's the ability to go completely anonymous. At least without creating an all-new screen name. But still, in this case:

1. a) it won't be synced with your existing Google App portfolio,
2. b) your friends need to follow you on both accounts,
3. c) you'll have to post on both your personal and anonymous account things you plan to share with both audiences,
4. d) recruiters won't know you have a massive follower list on your anonymous account

What I suggest is to add an 'anonymous' circle along with our other permission groups. We can set up a side account for our anon identity. A handle (nickname) for the name, and maybe the ability to write a separate bio. When posting, you can choose 'anonymous' as one of the circles, and anyone you have following you in this circle will see it. But they will only see that it's from your handle. So this way you can tweet whatever you want, and no one will know its you.

This method also allows you to advertise yourself and your profile without giving out your real info. I want random people to be able to find my posts, as they do on Twitter. But in the G+ environment, I don't want to have to give out my personal info. Nor do I want it searchable on Google under my real name. So search for my real name, find my 'open-to-all' profile. Search for the blog name or handle, find my anonymous page.

One central broadcasting location, two different channels for viewing. One G-rated and one R. Only you don't know they're related.

As a clean social media presence becomes a near requirement of employment, we need more ways to protect ourselves. But to censor ourselves is both immoral and un-American. Google has a great track record for giving users product features they both want and need. So ball is in your court, Google... can you do this for us?

jbx

Profit Sharing is Caring! and The Trickle-Up Effect

If you've been paying attention to the news lately, it's no doubt that we're in a serious mess. Our lowered credit rating makes us a laughing stock on the international market, and people are only going to further tighten their wallets. Unemployment is still high, estimated to be in the high teens assuming you count the unreported millions who do not or can not collect government benefits. Gas is upwards of $4 a gallon, and companies are consistently laying people off while collecting record profits. So what are we as a nation to do?

The more I consider the economy, the more I realize we are powerless to end the shareholder-minded profit maximization ideals that companies subscribe to. At least without some revolution that would involve some sort of devastating teardown of our country. But this mentality isn't necessarily a horrible thing for the economy. Ideally we want big, rich companies… they are indeed what keeps an economy strong.

We just need to invoke some sort of profit sharing mandate.

That’s right, enforced profit sharing. As in a set percentage of what a company makes need be distributed fairly through the workforce that allowed the company to make said profit. While some economists theorize we need to place caps on salaries or the size of companies, this allows and encourages businesses to grow. There’s no fear of increased regulations or per-worker costs that make hiring unattractive to big companies. The only cost is a function of the gains that everyone works for. Since this is an after-profit bonus, companies can still boast to their shareholders that they increased profits for the year, which hopefully won’t devastate a logically minded stock market. And this cost all goes into building a stronger work environment.

Most companies these days tend not to reward employees for additional effort. Maybe it’ll lead to a promotion down the line, but there’s no direct compensation for immediate effort that leads to an immediate gain in profits. Does the grill chef at McDonalds get more money if the store is packed that night? Probably not. Does the cashier at WalMart make extra money if the line is out the door her whole shift? Doubt it. The customer service rep during a company recall? You get the point. Add in the ability for companies to make salaried workers round-the-clock employees for no extra pay, and you see the mess we’re in. To quote the immortal words of Peter Gibbons, “It’s a problem of motivation. Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation?”


Fire bad, Profit Sharing good. Staplers better!

Profit sharing is a direct investment in your workers. Well compensated workers tend to be happier workers, right? Show them their added effort, that extra money the company made from their labor, is worth something. If Initech had profit sharing, Peter would have seen a few dimes from working his ass off. And trying to lay off people won’t be a ‘fix’ for this issue, since a mandatory percentage is enforced whether the company has a thousand employees or a million. So workers taking on the burden of a downsized department would actually see an increase in the money they make.

We’ve been reading reports about runaway executive compensation for years. Million dollar bonuses for people on the upper levels in return for corporate success. Why do we stop there? Is it fair that only certain people get rewarded? I mean, in football, even the practice squad gets a ring if their team wins the Superbowl. Obviously these companies have the money to distribute to their staff, executive or not. Now this is their chance to reward the rest of the staff for that same hard work.

Now I have to predict that there are some wingers out there who are going to squawk their favorite buzzword… Communism. How dare I try to mention the idea that we tell a company what to do with their money in this country?!? And I’d like to point out that the communist argument just doesn’t hold up. This system still encourages companies to grow. Free markets and all. No tax increases. All the money stays in the company family. One of famed Republican Ronald Reagan’s legacies is the “trickle-down effect” in which we’d develop a system in which those that make the most money pass it through our economy by hiring and buying things from those economically below them… so on and so on down to where the higher populated lower classes have opportunities that leaves them financially stable (ie not struggling to put food on the table) and able to themselves contribute to the economy, creating a cycle that keeps our economy going. And ideally this is a good, reasonable plan.

Except it has never been enforced. Nowadays, the upper class is notorious for hoarding their money, leaving it in banks and big corporate investments. They cut down on the number of people they hire, lest their profits and stock price take a hit. And those who are not as financially stable are forced to follow suit. And none of this is necessarily for amoral reasons, but for security, as the future holds no certainty. We as struggling citizens are forced to cut back on extraneous expenses, ie going out to dinner, or buying that new car, or even going to school to better ourselves.

And this just compounds the problems we are seeing. Now the once-profitable restauranteur can’t afford a new car, and now the car dealer can’t afford to send his kids to a good school, and the kid can’t get a job because he didn’t go to a good school. Didn’t we say the trickle-down effect was a good thing?

What will help jumpstart our economy is a “trickle-up effect”. It’s proven that lower classes spend a higher percent of their income. So if the lower classes had a few extra bucks to spend, they could potentially buy that dinner once a week, and the restaurant owner seeing a rise in business can buy that new car. And the car dealer can send his kids to a good school. We need to encourage domestic spending, and keeping money out of the hands of the masses isn’t the way to do it.

No handouts, no rewarding people for not working, no deterrent to hiring. Just making sure credit is given where credit is due. It may be the only good ‘credit’ we see for a while in this country. And things just might come out ok in the end…

jbx

How to be a stud at Social Media and keep a low profile?

These days, employers are more interested in what you've done than what you know. So, as a 'career Marketer', it's fairly critical that I keep up an active Social Media presence. Which means, like them or not, I need to be on just about every new social media site that pops up. I'm sure you're aware of our accompanying Twitter feed (@TNOReality), and possibly a fun little PHP site that can warn those with certain vices about certain tests for employment. (http://www.DoTheyDrugTest.net) I'm also on digg, delicio.us, myspace, quora, linkedin, and facebook. And gotta say, I only really use the last two. (Quora is pretty cool tho). Now with Google Plus coming to life, I gotta wonder how far its gonna go.

The main advantage I've found with Google+ is going to be privacy control. A bit too early to test, since I really only have friends in 2 circles, So not much to block off yet. And I don't see Mom and Dad joining any time soon, especially that they only just discovered Facebook are barely use that. But this makes me wonder if this is finally a network in which I can keep an uncensored profile, yet keep potential employers and easily offended family members from seeing the fun stuff.

Yes, these days you gotta censor yourself lest you get denied employment, or even fired. Don't want to lose a job just because I have a differing opinion from the boss on a political issue, or because I might drop an f-bomb to accent my writing, or even because I'm seen holding a beer at a friend's bbq. Just keeping a casual or comedic tone on your site can incendentally imply to an employer you won't take your job seriously.

So in response, I have measures on each of my accounts to make sure things are only seen by those who need to see them. I keep LinkedIn 100% professional. All serious business on there, since anyone, preferably employers, can see my profile. Facebook is the exact opposite. I am very selective of who gets on there. Friends and family only, and some of the things I post I just hope my parents don't read. I don't allow even work friends on there, since who knows what can be revealed of me through them. (this is something I hope changes) But it's complete, unfiltered me. Of course I do the typical "update" posts like "At the Rush concert with Geddy Lee and it is AWESOME!!!"... I'm not on my soapbox all the time... but the rest is political, contraversial, funny... or as I prefer to think of it.. Interesting.

Take out the interesting stuff, and you'll see a lackluster, or at least poorly maintained, site. How effective can I look with scattered chatty blurbs every few days? Case in point, I do actually keep an open, moderated version of @TNOReality on Twitter that I can show employers. But since most of my schtick (and the account my phone is tied in to) is based around my social activities or political humor, the private account goes ignored for days some times. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentaly.

So this leaves me with a site that doesn't exactly scream "social media expert". What they say expert, they want someone who eats, drinks, and lives social media. So no job for me. If I show them the full version, well I risk turning off a potential paycheck. I doubt any corporate employer would hire me if I showed off "DoTheyDrugTest.net" to them, despite showing flawless coding (and shameless plugging!).

Real life example: Anything and everything about Bonnaroo was declined from my "PG" account. A few because it wasn't worth changing accounts for one scattered tweet, but mostly because I don't need some employer to make some assumption about me given the festival's obvious correlation with drug use...

So what to do... Dull & Unimpressive or Active & Agitating? I've tried a middle ground and toned down things, sometimes it worked, and sometimes it made my writing reek of Bipolar disorder. I like being vocal about my opinions, and don't feel the need to change that just because its on a website instead of phone or in person. My quest is to uncover the uncensored truth, and if some people aren't offended I'm not doing my job. But as we reveal ourselves in a virtually "all or nothing" manner, the pressure is increased, and pushed into our private lives, to write bland, socially conforming and comforting material, just in case the wrong people see it.

Hopefully with Google+ they'll get permissions down to the individual posts over who sees what, and won't let anyone not in a circle see your profile. And maybe throw in a way to make your full "useage stats" known, just to show lurking employers how influential you really are... And hopefully get enough users where it will be a viable social media platform!

Bonnaroo Blog-a-roo: Index

You're busy. Here's the quick guide to the Blog-a-roo.

• Intro: http://is.gd/x72h6m
• What to Bring: http://is.gd/Q2nPTr
• The Road to Roo aka Getting There: http://is.gd/BO2YFC
• Campin' Out: http://is.gd/0DUMkx
• Awesome Eats: http://is.gd/Xdye53
• Drugs aka We Were Halfway to Manchester...: http://is.gd/ZVGvU0
• Welcome to the Show: http://is.gd/ZS5M2w

Enjoy!

Bonnaroo Blog-a-roo: Welcome to the Show!

Most of what we’ve covered so far had to do with the action outside the Centeroo stage area. See, there’s more to Bonnaroo than you think! This part will give you some pointers on how to thrive on the inside.

There are two main gates to get in, one by the main “WHAT” stage and another by the “Other Tent” stage. It’s just an additional security gate to make sure you’re not bringing in a carload of crap. Typically they check your bracelet, look in your bags, and maybe pat your pockets. Most guards don’t really care if you sneak in a beer or glow stick, but some will take it away immediately. As stated, volunteers get to keep what they confiscate, and I know guards who greatly increased their ‘glassware’ collection if you know what I mean… At times, these gates can get backed up, especially in the morning and before the headlining acts, so give yourself a few extra minutes if you’re in a hurry. Not sure how things are going to work out with the new RFID bracelets, but from Coachella videos, it does look like a faster process.

So you’re in. Awesome. The first thing you want to do is find out where the five stages are. They are aptly named the WHAT Stage and WHICH Stage, and the “THIS”, “THAT”, and “THE OTHER” tend, as if to send thousands of concertgoers into an Abbott-and-Costello-enraged fit. But you’ll get the hang of it soon enough, even if you end up calling them “the big one” or “that one by the beer tent”. For the most part, the big name acts will be on the stages, and the up-and-comers in the tents.

Tip: it takes about 15-20 minutes to walk from “The Other Tent” to the “WHAT Stage”, depending on how distracted you get with everything on the way there.

But it’s not just about the music. There’s also a Comedy Tent, a few smaller stages for acoustic sets and local bands, an all-day Silent Disco, cabaret shows, a huge neon ferris wheel, the Adult Swim games tent, giant waterslide, and much much more! And tons of artsy-and-crafty things to check out. There is something for everyone and then some!

That said, what you have to realize is, you’re not going to be able to do it all. There’s just no way. There will be bands that you will want to see that will have conflicting times. It’ll be hot out, so you might just not feel like moving, let alone walking for 20 minutes. Or the Comedy Tent may be filled to capacity when you get there. It sucks, but it’s the way it goes. Don’t worry about it so much, you’re gonna have an amazing time anyway. In fact, it’s a good excuse to stop in on, or wait around for, smaller name acts. Last year I missed headliners because there were bands I saw en route to the main stages that kicked enough ass for me to stay around for. Thievery Corporation over Jay-Z any day!

Tip: the shade from the tent stages is enough to get you to park it for a few hours no matter who else is playing.

While talking about the Comedy Tent, it works on a ticket system. You line up about an hour (check this, it changes) before the set and get a ticket, and then you can come back right before the show begins. The morning shows (which includes Cheech Marin this year) tend to have ticket lines starting 2-3 hours in advance, so you may want to get to Centeroo a bit early. If they are out of tickets, don’t worry, they typically have room for a bunch of extra people. And if that doesn’t work, come back 10-15 minutes after the show, people will have left and chances are they will not even ask for a ticket. Lots of people show up there just for 10 minutes in the air conditioning. Which is amazing by the way…

You’re also going to have times where there aren’t bands you want to see. These are times when you can ask your camping neighbors if they have anyone to recommend. Or, check out the artsy stuff going on. It’s not Bonnaroo until you take a photo with each of the Bobbleheads. And it’s definitely Bonnaroo when you see people having “conversations” with them -this will happen... You’ll also find some cool things in the Sponsors’ tents. Honest. Not being a corporate shill here. Most have air conditioning and give out some form of food or beverage, along with some music or art. Some will even wash your hair, charge your cell phone, or let you check your e-mail, all for free! It’s a great way to spend your time between shows.

Tip: Some sponsors have clean water hookups in their tents. Get in good with them, and they’ll let you fill up your water bottle without the long wait of the water stations.

And make SURE you keep hydrated. 100 degree Tennessee days are grueling without the stage-to-stage trekking. Heat exhaustion sucks, and heat stroke is even worse. Take advantage that this is one of the few festivals where water is cheap and plentiful, so long as you don’t mind standing in a potentially long line.

After the headlining acts end, the raves begin. The tent area is lit up from laser light shows, strobes and the party goes until the sun comes up. The tent stages are fairly close together so you can easily check out what’s going on at all three. Each DJ has his own unique charm, and a crowd to boot. Whether it’s the neon costumes and dance-offs during Deadmau5 or blacklight beach balling during Girl Talk, there’s plenty to watch and plenty to groove to. Wait, can you groove to a rave? Who knows. What I do know is that it’s gonna be hard to stay at Shpongle while Ratatat is playing….

Tip: Don’t trip on acid before going to see GWAR. Just… believe me on this one.

You’re allowed to stay in Centeroo 24 hours from the time it opens to the time it closes. But there’s kind of a lull in the action from 5 to 9am. You can hang out for a bit in the air-conditioned Cinema Tent which is a nice way to cool off after some late night dancing. But watch out, inside or outside they’re wholly uncool about people sleeping there. I guess if they didn’t give you a hard time, everyone would try to crash out in the ice cold tent…

So that should be all you need to know. If you haven’t made up your schedule yet, check it out on Bonnaroo.com; they even have a way to personalize your planned lineup. I’ll follow up with some more pointers if need be... Please leave a comment if you crave more info!

Bonnaroo Blog-a-roo: We were halfway to Manchester when...

Now for the part of the weekend that gathers the most questions: what about the drugs. Now the official stance by the promoters of the festival is “drug use is not part of the festival and will not be tolerated”. And that shall be the tone of this blog. But we all know the realities of music festivals. Four days of nearly 24-hour music, dancing, and art? Yeah…

They can be fairly thorough on the check-in, so if you plan on bringing anything you shouldn’t, be extremely discrete. Like hidden. You’re better off safe than sorry. And think about this – even if you don’t get arrested, it would suck to lose your stash before the festival. I’d say don’t risk it… you can find what you need inside.

Things begin to chill out by the tents. I actually took count, the first twelve tents I passed all contained people getting happy. This is another reason it’s important to make friends with the neighbors. Chat it up, you may have things to trade. Plus, “salesmen” tend to flock more towards larger groups. And it’s always good to have a second set of eyes out to make sure you’re not getting ripped off. You want to make sure you’re not getting an aspirin for $20…

You’ll see security on the main roads of the camping areas, so don’t be dumb and light something up you shouldn’t while walking to Centeroo. I’ll say it again, be discreet. The cops will leave you alone, but if they see anything weird they’ll swarm. Like if a ton of people emerge from your tent breathing in and out of balloons… they tend to frown upon that. Also keep in mind there’s a security checkpoint to get into Centeroo, so expect bags to be peeked in and pockets patted. Legend has it the volunteer security is paid in whatever they confiscate, so be careful!

Things have been safe throughout the history of Bonnaroo, and it plans to stay that way. So remember that Bonnaroo is a marathon, not a sprint. You don’t want to burn out too early. I’ve heard stories of people taking too much Day 1 and being too burned out to leave the campground the rest of the weekend. If buying things there, make sure you know what you’re getting and how to use it. I suggest not taking things you haven’t done before, but if you do, do a bit of research on the internet first.

And if you want to hear something weird: You really can’t find pot there. No shitting ya, I have yet to see someone selling it there. I’m guessing that because of its bulky size, it’s not worth the risk trying to smuggle it into the festival for profit. Crazy, right? The safest drug out there requires the most effort to hide. Just another reason why we need to make it legal, but I’ll leave my soapboxing for another day.

One thing about the common substances – they will dehydrate you. It cools down a bit at night, but when you’re jumping and dancing around a tent with tens of thousands of others, it can be hotter than the day. And all these chemicals speed you up and make you pour out sweat in buckets. Hey, I’m not lying when I say Bonnaroo is great exercise. Make sure you make plenty of trips to the water stations, and take a run through the Mushroom Fountain. Depending on what you’re on, you may find yourselves unable to resist! When the sun comes up and you finally get back to your tent, down some Gatorade so you’re replenished for the morning. The key is, STAY HYDRATED!!!

And if drugs aren’t your thing, that’s all good. To each their own. I’ve met plenty of people there who don’t partake and they have just as good a time. People are discreet about it, so you need not worry about it being in your face. It’s enough of a high just being there, and there’s so much to do that you’ll be mentally occupied on or off the stuff.

Oh yeah, and just to disclaim: I am not advocating the use of drugs nor implying they exist in any manner at Bonnaroo. But this article exists to keep people informed and safe in case they do. Stupid technicalities…

So let me conclude with my overall suggestion on the topic: “Keep your head in the clouds and your feet on the ground” and all will be good throughout the show…

Bonnaroo Blog-a-roo: Awesome Eats

Time for another common topic for the New-to-Roo crowd: Food. Believe me, there’s lots of it. You won’t go hungry during this festival, and you can easily have something completely different for every meal. From Coffee and Eggs in the morning, to Gyros and Burritos for dinner, your meals can be just as festive as the festival itself.

When it comes to festivals, people always complain about the high price of the food. In this festival, that isn’t the case. There are a ton of vendors all competing for your business, which keeps things reasonable. Most dinner platters are $10 or under, and are huge portions. You can find sandwiches and lunch-style items in the $5-$7 range, and breakfast as low as two dollars. The best bargains are outside Centeroo, on the flea market strip known as “Shakedown Street” so keep your eyes out on your way to the stages. All in all you’d probably spend much more at a restaurant for these items.

Some of the sights you will see include Burritos that cover two full plates, giant corn dogs, turkey legs, Southern Barbecue, and a variety of Asian and vegetarian dishes. There are so many good things that, despite all the exercise you get over the weekend, you might actually gain weight during the festival!

Trust me, the vendors know what type of customers they’ll have and what kind of “munchies” they’ll be hungering for! You’re covered.

Try to resist the urge to splurge on the Bacon-and-Cheese Loaded Butterfly Fries. They cut them right in front of you and the process is hypnotic. Yet another way to attract those with “the munchies”. Not to mention the giant plate they give you will reel you in. Additionally, resist the urge to put additional ranch dressing on them. Yeah. That made up for four days of walking 10 miles in the burning hot sun. And I could only get through a third of them. But soooo good…

If you’re new to ‘Roo, there are two food experiences you need to have. Both have become Bonnaroo celebrities: The World’s Greatest Grilled Cheese, and Spicy Pie. Spicy Pie is a pizza stand in several locations both inside and outside Centeroo. For $5 you get a nice size Pizza slice, with a variety of toppings. But the one to try is the self-titles Spicy Pie slice. It’s a pepperoni-and-cayenne infused slice that’ll give you a nice mid-day kick. The World’s Greatest Grilled Cheese is located outside Centeroo on Shakedown Street and serves just that – Grilled Cheese. For a dollar. Yes, ONE dollar. $1. And this is no joke Grilled Cheese… texas toast loaded with cheese and cooked in garlic butter. Expect a long line at times, but it’s worth it. Last year anytime there was a short line I just ran up and got one. Yeah, easy to overeat this festival!

In addition, some of the sponsors hand out samples throughout the day. Got to load up on Butterfinger Ice Cream and Wheat Thins in years past. They’re hard to resist, especially since most sponsors have air conditioned tents!

Aside from that, I suggest packing your cooler full of snacks. Never know what you’ll be craving. It’s good to have some granola bars and beef jerky to munch on throughout the day… they’re both good for you, and Bonnaroo is very much a hike. Plus a few homemade sandwiches can cut down the festival food calories and save you a few bucks. Snack smart my friends!

And if you're thirsty, don't fear. There are water stations located throughout Centeroo. Look for the blue mushroom-shaped domes. The water is cold and free. The only downside is that the wait can be very long. Sometimes there's no water pressure, which can cause the line to back up. And the dehydrated masses tend to get irritable. My suggestion: try to get in back of people who are only filling up a small water bottle - Camelbacks can take forever when the water comes out drip by drip. But if you have one yourself, you won't have to worry about the lines as much.

For those craving a stronger drink, there’s a beer garden in the middle of Centeroo. There’s a lot of craft beers to try out. It’s a bit pricey, but if you want to meet some friends for a quick beer between sets, this is the place. Otherwise, I would wholly recommend bringing in a case or two of your own favorite brew, and having some fun at your campsite tailgate.

And if booze isn’t your cup of tea, check out the next section for the scoop on some of the other intoxicating-ly awesome aspects of the festival!

Bonnaroo Blog-a-roo: Campin' Out

If this is your first time going to roo, and especially if its your first time at any rock festival, get ready for the part of the show you didn’t expect to enjoy the most – the campout! Welcome to your village of 80,000 people all looking to have a good time. It’s like the largest, most chill party ever. And it’s very easy to meet people and make friends.

When you get to the camp site, try to grab as much room as you can. Every inch will count. You want to make sure you can fully open your car doors, and that a tent and a few chairs can fit in front/behind you.

So quickly set up your tent… you’ll notice that everyone around you will be so pumped up that it’s almost like a race. Very likely you will notice a neighbor who needs help setting up. This is method numero uno to make an introduction.

When the tents are all up, grab a beer and pass some around. Chances are they will reciprocate. It’s easy to get into random conversations at ‘Roo… “where are you from” “who are you here to see” “have you been to Bonnaroo before,” etc. are all common topics. Always good to have some buddies around. They can point you out things you wouldn’t have otherwise thought of checking out, and it’s just cool to have some people to chill with during the shows.

So that said, let’s get to the roughing it part. The first thing to realize is that it is either going to be extremely hot, or extremely rainy. Trust me, the latter is better. Make sure your tent can handle both conditions. If you have a canopy tent, place it over your sleeping tent. This will keep it both dry and shady. If you want to put in the effort, place a tarp under the tent too… this can help keep additional dirt or bugs out. Put a sheet down and then your sleeping bag and you’re good to go.

But what if you can’t stand the idea of sleeping in a tent? Well, here’s a trick I used last year. Note that this might not work (and could be dangerous) if you’re parked in direct sunlight, or it is extremely hot out, so try at your own risk… Yup sucks you gotta disclaimer this stuff if ya don’t wanna get sued…

Take two solar reflectors and put one in the front and back windows. Make sure no light is getting in. Then drape a thin, dark sheet over the roof so that it covers your side windows. Tie the corners to part of the car, or close it in the door. Roll your windows all the way down, and there you have it. I found this to be much more comfortable than sleeping in the tent. You can even turn the AC on in short bursts if you’re confident about your gas and batteries. (keep both in mind before leaving the AC on)

Two things you’ll need while sleeping: something to cover your ears, and something to cover your eyes. When you go to sleep, no matter what time, there will be someone just waking up to party, blasting music or walking right next to your tent. So don’t expect a quiet night’s rest. Bring some earplugs to minimize the effect. And as for a blindfold, well, the sun will be beating down from 5:30am on… it’s gonna get bright!

One of the best things about Bonnaroo is that you can bring food and booze into the campsite. I’ll cover food in a later section of the blog. But for now, let me suggest you keep your cooler in your trunk. That will keep it as cold as possible through the weekend. You can also bring in some barbecue food and set up a small grill if you feel so inclined. Most just bring sandwiches or stick to fair food, but some grounds come armed with gas grills and coleman stoves. Depends on you.

Another pointer: Keep your valuables locked in your car. Bonnaroo is fairly safe, but that doesn’t mean you can just leave stuff lying around. Every year I’ve had some neighbor have cash, ipods, beer, etc stolen from their site. Leaving it in a zipped-up tent isn’t enough. But there’s nothing to fear if you just use some basic common sense

Now how do you keep clean? There are indeed showers at the campgrounds. But they might not be near your tent, cost like $10 and you should expect at least an hour wait. But I hear they do have plenty of hot water and they’re not bad for getting clean. But I’d say most people rough it. Now hygiene will be a joke to a lot of people this weekend, but if you’d like to have some semblance of cleanliness, here are some two pointers:

Baby Wipes – Kind of like a portable shower. Keep them in a cool place and use them constantly. Great to get the sweat off and clean those hard-to-reach areas. You’ll go through a lot of them, and it will be worth it

The soda bottles filled with water - Ok here’s what those are for… When you get to Bonnaroo, place them on the back shelf of your car (or otherwise sunny area). It’s basically a solar hot water heater. Take a bottle, test the temperature, and pour it on your head, stopping every few seconds to soap up. If you pour it right, one bottle should be enough to clean one person. So there’s your shower. If you want to get fancy, they do sell portable ‘shower stalls’ at Walmart and sporting good stores, but this method is quicker.

There are also sink houses spread throughout the grounds. They’re good to freshen up, and typically will have soap. The water kinda smells bad (sulfur filtering) but it can help get mud and other dirtiness off you. You typically won’t seen people bathing here, but go later at night if you want to give yourself a thorough rubdown.

FYI the Mushroom Fountain and water stations are off-limits for bathing.

And what about bathrooms? Bathrooms shouldn’t be terribly far from your campsite, but will likely not be a convenient stroll in the middle of the night. But it’s a wooded area, so you shouldn’t have trouble making your own. Probably cleaner than the porto-potties too. Did I mention that the ladies should really practice their squatting before this weekend? Luckily, the bathroom situation is better (but not necessarily cleaner) once you get inside Centeroo.

So lets start heading that way… a few stops before we get to the inner sanctum of the festival

Bonnaroo Blog-a-roo: Getting There a.k.a. The Road to 'Roo

The first thing that shocked me about Bonnaroo is from just how far away the fans come. I probably met more people from Philadelphia than the whole South combined. Canada, Australia, Brazil, England, you name it, they’ll be there.

This section will be for those driving into the festival. This is probably the most, but only, annoying part of the weekend. My first year I got there early and it still it took over 9 hours to get in. Luckily Green Day just released a new CD so the music went non-stop. Hopefully this won’t happen to you, but prepare for it.

The first thing to take note of is the appearance of your car as you approach Manchester. I’ve heard stories of cars being pulled over and searched as far away as Kentucky and Virginia for blaring hippie memorabilia. From what I’ve noticed this is definitely true as you get within a few miles. But these were the only cars pulled over. Your best bet is to go incognito. Don’t hang peace flags from your windows, write “Bonnaroo or Bust” on your trunk, cover your tail with hippie bumper stickers, or drive up with fun-smelling smoke bellowing out the car. That basically sends an instant signal to the cops saying “Drugs on Board!!!” Play it smooth, and things will go smoothly. Personally, I go a step further by loading all my camping gear in the trunk and putting on a collared work shirt, just so I don’t look like trouble. Most cops in the area don’t want to be dicks this weekend (unusual but true)… they want to get you into the festival and out of their hair as quickly as possible. Just don’t give them a reason to pull you over and you’ll be fine.

So as you pull up to Exit 111, you’ll start seeing the cars lining up on the northbound side of the highway. This can go back 10-15 miles. The year I waited 9 hours, I had come from the north. They made me drive up to exit 127, and the line was backed up past that point. I got rerouted through the back roads, but needless to say both lines were equally long.

The waiting can get very boring. So make sure you have some awesome tunes to listen to. What will happen is you’ll likely stay stopped for 15-20 minutes at a time, then move upwards of half a mile, just to stop again for another 20 mins. So you’ll have time to get out of the car and stretch. Or maybe throw around a Frisbee. I walked around and talked to some of my ‘new neighbors’. So you could say the traffic is part of the party.

Make sure you are gassed up before you go. This whole process can take a long time, and if you have your AC blasting, it can really eat up your gas.

So it’s been asked “what if you need to go to the bathroom?” Well, I can’t speak for the highway line, but if you’re on the backroads, there are many sections that are lined with bushes or behind haystacks and dirt mounds. So you should be safe. Ladies, you might want to practice your squatting, or figure out a good way to do it in the car.

This is one of the areas where fortune favors the prepared. If you do some research, you can try to find an alternate ‘locals’ route through the side streets. I’m not giving away my secret (lest it be secret no more) but lets just say it only took an hour to get to the gas station at the end of the exit 111 ramp that signifies the entrance to ‘Roo.

So you’ve been waiting for hours, and you finally get to the gates to get in. Don’t worry, there’s about another hour or two from this point. Keep calm, and resist any urges to crack a beer or light up. You’re gonna be amped up as soon as you pull in, and that’s an amazing high on its own.

The reason why is because they have a checkpoint before you enter the grounds. And they can be very thorough. The rumors of cars torn to shreds on the sides of the “tollbooths” are true. But you really need to attract attention for that to happen. Still, you never know when the security guard is going to be a dick and want to go over every square inch. Another good reason to look professional! I’ve had them check in my door pockets, glove box, center console, trunk, cooler, and spare tire compartment one year, and another they just peeked inside my windows, popped my trunk, and looked in my cooler and that was all. So if you plan on bringing in anything you shouldn’t (which you weren’t planning to do anyway, wink wink), make sure it is extremely well hidden.

Once you’re past the tollbooths its only a few minutes before they direct you to your camp site. They’ll try to pack you in like sardines, so try to pull as far away from the adjacent cars as possible. Once you make friends you may be able to work with each other to rearrange them for maximum space. So set your tent up, say hi to your neighbors, and meet me for the next chapter!

Bonnaroo Blog-a-roo: What to Bring

WHAT TO BRING

Lets start with this, since much about the festival will be revealed through the items that will help you get through it. Pay attention, there are some things you wouldn’t necessarily think of bringing.

Clothes:

· 5+ comfortable t-shirts

· Cargo shorts

· A fanny pack if you’re not fashion conscious (no one will judge you here)

· As many socks and underwear as you can hold

o You will want to change ‘em as often as possible

· A bathing suit

o Will be more comfortable than cargo shorts. The more pockets the better. Most will have velcro or buttons to keep your stuff safe. The best part is, it will get filthy, and you can just hop in a pool to clean it!

· Something colorful and fun to wear during the raves

o Yeah, no one is judging. But you’ll see some crazy outfits during the late night sets. Raver or not, it’s fun to put on flashy clothes for the all-nite dance jams!

· A hooded rain poncho

· A hooded sweatshirt

· Old ratty sneakers that you won’t mind throwing away

o Because you probably will want to at the end of the festival. I’ve tossed mine without regret the last two ‘Roos.

· ** Cushioned insoles (the thicker the better) **

o You’re gonna do a lot of walking and standing and this will make it so much more comfortable

· A watch

o A cheap one will be fine

· A pedometer

o For fun and bragging. And your health. I walked between 9-10 miles each day last year!

Food, Drink, and Toiletries:

· *** A CASE of bottled water

o Freeze as many as you can before putting them in the cooler.

· Four additional soda bottles or bigger filled with water

o Tap water is fine. Will be explained later.

· *** Sunscreen. As high a SPF as you can find and tolerate

· *** Baby Wipes

o Probably the most important thing you will need. This is the best way to clean up at your campsite, which will likely be nowhere near sinks and showers. It will also make your ‘business’ time much quicker and cleaner. If you can find individually wrapped wipes, go for it.

· The biggest and strongest cooler that can fit in your trunk

· Granola bars, Beef Jerky, other high-protein easy-to-carry snacks

· Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches. If you trust your cooler, prepare a few cold cut wraps.

· Those serving-size packets of iced tea/fruit punch/sports drink that are made for bottled water

o Usually have some added vitamins and simple sugars. And good to mix with vodka!

· 4 bottles of sports drink

o Freeze at least 2. Good to replenish fluids throughout the day.

· Multivitamins

· A camelback

o Not mandatory. But the lines for the drinking water often back up, so might as well grab as much as you can when you get there. Trust me, others will…

· Alcohol in CANS/PLASTIC

o I suggest sticking with beer. Light beer, believe it or not. It will dehydrate you the least. Bring enough to last you four days, plus some to share with friends! Don’t overdo it on liquor. Hangovers SUCK when you gotta walk a mile to the stage in 100 degree weather.

· Plastic ziplock bags

o Keep the contents of your pockets dry in case of rain or spontaneous fountain jumping. Seriously. Not to hold illicit substances… ;)

· Baby Powder / Gold Bond

o Lots of walking means lots of chafing. Even the strongest crotch will feel the burn. Don’t forget this.

· Deodorant

o Out of respect for your fellow festival-goers, please don’t forget this…

· Addl. Spray Deodorant / Cologne

o Quick easy way to freshen up

· Condoms

o Bonnaroo is nowhere near the sex romp that Woodstock was. Remember, most people go unshowered the whole four days, so you probably won’t even be thinking about getting laid. But hey, best to be on the safe side…

For the camp site:

· Tent, Sleeping Bag

o Self explanatory. Make sure the stakes are with your tent. Otherwise it will blow away.

· Gazebo tent

o Those awning-style tents. They’ll help keep the sun off your tent and give you a cool place to sit

· Small flashlight

o The battery free ones work great and will safely last the whole weekend

· A bed sheet or two

· Those solar blockers for your car windows. Get 2 if you can…

o I’ll explain how to use these and the sheet to comfortably sleep in your car

· One of those quick-folding field chairs

· Hackey Sack

o Ya know, in the past two years, no one brought a sack with them. WTF?!? Can’t think of a better place to have one.

For the show:

· Your ticket

o Duh

· ** A notepad and pen **

o The second most important thing. It’s so much fun writing down your thoughts and observations when chilling in a huge open field with music blasting and people acting all sorts of awesome.

· 4 copies of the Bonnaroo Map

· 4 copies of the Bonnaroo Lineup schedule

o Try to print double-sided so you can have two days on each sheet. Regardless, bring at least one copy of each day. The more you bring, the more you can share with your new friends!

· ** Digital Camera with video **

o Soooo many things you’ll want to take photos of. Especially if on substances that enhance visualizations. Make sure it has videos, cause at some points, still photos just won’t give the story justice!

· Cash

o Don’t expect anyone to take credit cards even if you know how to do it on your iPhone… There’s food, drinks, and snacks everywhere. And nearly a mile of flea market style arts and crafts leading towards Centeroo (stage area).

Now for the Do Not Bring. This list could go on, but these are things that tend to get lost or confiscated:

· Glow Sticks

o Hate to say it, but they WILL take them away at the gates if they find them. Yes, it does say it on the official website’s “Bring” list. But every year you’ll see a pile of them in garbage cans on the way in. They’ll be easy enough to find once you’re inside Centeroo.

· Balloons

o Same deal with the Glow Sticks. Don’t know why they say you can bring them in. They will get taken away. I think they’re afraid people will use them for whip-its.

· A cell phone

o Fine to leave in your car, but you really won’t need it on festival grounds. Especially if you’re solorooing. There are many areas where you can, and will probably want to, get wet, so don’t let your expensive phone get fried.

· Too much cash

o Lack of sleep, dehydration, booze, drugs… you’ll lose it or spend it all. If you’re not looking to go souvenir or “party favor” shopping and have a homemade sandwich each day for lunch, $100 should be fine. The food isn’t terribly priced for a festival (<$10 for dinner) and you can find cheap snacks around if you know where to look.

· Sandals or fancy footwear

o Remember, you’re gonna do a lot of walking. Uncomfortable shoes will ruin it for you. And your feet will get stepped on when dancing up to the stage…

· Glass

o They’re really strict about it and don’t take it lightly. I’ve seen them toss bottles of cologne away. If they find glass bottles in your car, you can guarantee you’re getting a thorough search. Don’t chance it when you can easily buy cans and plastic.